Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Absolution and Uncle Pecos

"Blayess me readuhs, fowah Ahh have seeuhnd."

Thus may Foghorn Leghorn, that genteel chicken of the southern coastal plain, have started this blog post.  While many mistake the "drawl" as the standard speech pattern of the American South, some unwary travelers have been confronted and confounded by that hillbilly brogue known as the "Appalachian Mumble."  In fact, the first time my wife visited my hometown, I found myself serving as an impromptu translator.  To the untrained ear, the mishmash of jumbled words, deliberate mispronunciations and gratuitous use of extra "r's" renders the English language into a gelatinous stew that pours like this:


Not long after we met, a friend of mine from Massachusetts informed me that when I spoke, all he heard was "Deeder, Deeder, Deeder." It took me a couple of years to realize he was not kidding, and that this was not simply a manifestation of the Bay Stater tendency to loathe the letter "r."

But I digress.  

The true purpose of this post is to acknowledge my recent blog silence.  In my defense, I've deliberately chosen to devote all of my limited writing time to the WIP this month. However the cardinal sin of blogging is neglect, and any way ya' peel 'at tater, I deserve to be boiled and mashed for not posting in so long.

So for that I truly apologize, and I promise to make the appropriate recompense.  Please feel free to suggest an act of penance in the comment section. Maybe I'll do an entire post about writing dialects and accents, since that is one of my guilty writing pleasures.

Crambone!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Imago *Hic* Home Now - The Second Campaigner Challenge

Rachael Harrie posted the Second Campaigner Challenge several days ago, and it was certainly worthy of the name "challenge":
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
  • include the word "imago" in the title
  • include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!
I decided to really go for broke, and make my entry a companion to the story I submitted for the first challenge.  So without further adieu, I present:
Imago *Hic* Home Now 
One of Dopplecap’s heads lolled into the other.
“Wash it,” he slurred as he wiped the InfiniMalt from his left chin.
Across the table, Neury’s earflaps fanned the miasma of the spaceport bar.  He refilled Dopplecap’s glass before splashing a drop into his own.
“Heeeey, why’s yer head osci-oscitatin’?”
“Either it’s the pleasure of your presence,” said Neury.  “or you are as look as you drunk you are.”
“Ha!  Zass funny.”
As Dopplecap struggled to confine the lacunae to his right brain, the door swung open.  A figure entered, shouting something about a “Qualpop” as he reached into his lapel.  Dopplecap dropped his glass just as a hulking squidman spun from the bar to draw his weapon.  The crash gave the squidman an infinitesimal pause. 
“Wha’ they talkin’ about flowers--” asked Dopplecap, when blaster fire sprayed squidman ink onto the mirror behind the bar. The shock caused a surge of alcohol from Dopplecap’s right head to his left.
“Fuh…” he murmured as his two heads collapsed on top of each other.
“What fortuitous synchronicity,” remarked Neury as he withdrew the priceless artifact from Dopplecap’s pocket.
“Acquired,” he thought.
“Excellent,” she thought back, turning to flirt with their unwitting accomplice.
THE END
If you enjoyed this second stroll through the "wretched hive of scum and villainy"TM that is my imagination, please take a moment to vote for my entry on Rachaels' blog here.  I am number 123.
As always, thanks for reading!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Liebster and Versatility Blog Awards

I recently received two very gracious blog awards from a couple of new bloggity friends I've met during Rachael Harrie's Write Campaign:

Neil Vogler granted me the Liebster Award.

I can tell from his blog, "A Writer, He Muttered," (which is a serious contender for my favorite blog name) that he and I share a love of science fiction and dry humor.  I thought his entry in the Write Campaign flash fiction contest was incredibly intense for 200 words, and I can't wait to see what he can do with a longer work.  Thanks for the nod, Neil.

It is now customary for me to pass along this award to five blogs that I love to read, with the stipulation that they have fewer than 200 followers.  I'm sure I will select someone who's already received this, so I apologize in advance:

Marsha Sigman at "Marsha's Musings" - I've been semi-lurking on her blog for a few weeks, and I'm a big fan of her sense of humor.  I hope she's writing a novel with some comedy thrown in :)

Kathleen Doyle at "Writing, Reading, and Life" - Her new blog design is really cool, and it's easy to tell from her posts that she reads A LOT of other writers' blogs.  If I were even half as conscientious as she is about passing on the love, I'd be doing all right.

Kimberly Montgomery at "Here's What I Think About That" - She's a fellow humor campaigner, and if her sidebar is any indication, she's already received quite a few blog awards.  I shall add to the list.

Jane Still at the "Crazy Daze of Motherhood" - Another humor campaigner.  Her profile blurb reads "I am married to the only man on the planet brave enough to give his wife ear wax candles for my birthday."  How could you not want to read more?

Last but not least, Christine Murray - She's a journalist and author in Dublin, a city which can't help but inspire.  She's almost to 200 followers, so if you haven't already, why not mosey on over?


Also, Sher A. Hart at Sher A. Hart: A Fantasy Writer's Fancies awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award.

Sher's blog is lighthearted, and unabashedly features her twin loves of fantasy literature and chocolate.  She's a fellow humor campaigner, and says she granted me this award because she thinks my blog is actually funny.  Consequently, I think Sher deserves a digital kiss:

Now I am supposed to reveal 7 facts about myself, and pass this award on to 15 people. Unfortunately, as I looked around, almost all of the blogs I follow have already received this award--likely because it is supposed to be passed on to 15 people. So instead, here's what I'm going to do:

1. Refer you to a previous post where I was tagged to reveal 10 "facts" about myself (if you're interested) AND

2. Announce that, as soon as I hit 50 followers, I will host a book giveaway here on my blog. Details forthcoming.

I think that wraps it up. Thanks once again to Neil and Sher for the kind thoughts! Three cheers for karma!